The Spirituality of Exhaustion

  I am quite tired due to different situations, such as the weather and a fairly busy week. But I have been reflecting that in fact, my schedule isn't that different from anyone else's, and in fact others such as parents would have more responsibilities than I do. Is there a way of observing one's tiredness to better handle it?
   I notice that when I observe myself, two things tend to arise. One is that when I feel tired and start to internalize the message of "how tired I am", I will tend to conserve energy rather than exert efforts, thinking I am more occupied than I actually am. When this happens, I will end up feeling more tired, because my attitude has slackened. It's as though I give myself the message that "I am too tired to do anything significant" and my body simply follows. Paradoxically, when I tell myself that I have too many things on the go to be tired (the opposite message), I tend to feel more energetic. This is because I didn't trick myself into believing that my physical state determines how I am going to behave.
   This evening, I happen to feel a bit more energetic than usual because I am aware that the weekend will be busy with studies, teaching and retreat combined. But knowing this, I came home much more energized than usual because I am somehow determined to get all these things completed. This is one example of where being busy doesn't necessarily have to make a person feel exhausted. More so, I tell myself that I can handle more than I have imagined, and I end up mustering energy to do each task.
   Exhaustion tends to be a mental attitude that comes from taking on too much mentally. I find that I am most exhausted when I am either taking on too many things at once, or trying to be a perfectionist in what I do. Both these attitudes are detrimental to action, because they tend to burden the mind with worrisome thoughts. I tell myself that everything has to be a certain way in order for me to completely function well, when in fact, even in our most alert moments, we are only able to do so much.  Accepting what we can do as valid is one way to work with tiredness rather than shouldering too many burdens that can lead to utter exhaustion.