Revisiting Thanksgiving

 It was the American Thanksgiving just this past week, followed by a rather ironic stint of "Black Friday", where shoppers will flock to the shopping malls to figure out what they can obtain at discounted prices before the holidays officially begin. I say "ironic" because gratitude and thanksgiving are often said to be quite the opposite tendency: looking at what we have already with appreciation rather than trying to buy more. Now why is this thanksgiving even something we need reminders about? If gratitude is so compelling, why would we need a special day to give thanks or to remind ourselves to do so?
   Of course, Thanksgiving has its own historical roots, but the point is, why is it hard to remember gratitude? My answer to this question is perhaps a bit unexpected, but I think there are two possible reasons. The first is that gratitude is often seen as something we cultivate as a moral virtue, thus making it seem a bit like a forced exercise. "Be grateful" comes across as a forced conceptual or moral construct rather than as something that can be genuinely felt or appreciated. The second reason is that sometimes we try too hard to be grateful by practicing 'being in the moment'. I think this is also a forced attitude, and it hardly leads to grateful emotions because there is an element of force behind it.
   I think the easy answer is to simply relax in every moment and to allow experiences to totally happen to us. When this happens and we are really open to what is happening and allowing it, gratitude will naturally arise. And why? It's because that relaxed attitude invites the natural joy and connections that we have with other beings and with world as a whole. This attitude requires actually no effort at all, not even a 'trying to be grateful' approach. It is more about a kind of allowing, a granting to one's place in the moment, almost like a child exploring walking for the first time, or exploring books and nature. If you ever recall the first book you read that captured your imagination, you will probably get the idea of what I am talking about.
   The other trick to gratitude that often eludes us is that it doesn't apply universally to everyone in the same ways. What you are grateful for is going to be unique to your own experience, affinity and ways of seeing and experiencing the world. This is because how we connect with the world is going to be very different from one person to the next. This is why it's probably not healthy to try to apply a single yardstick to determine how grateful a person feels. Sometimes acknowledging one's position with its unique advantages is enough to generate simple and relaxed gratitude, as well as a softening of one's attitude.