Immersion in Dharma

 After the group meditation tonight, I find it hard to really know how to apply Dharma the way one applies a solution to a particular problem. I think that part of it for me, as I shared with the group, is how accustomed I am to thinking of applications from a technical-rationalist perspective, rather than from a contemplative understanding. The way to apply spiritual teachings is not the same as taking out a tool from one's toolbox and simply using that tool whenever a specific situation arises. On the contrary, as one of the participants in the group sharing related, application is more about letting go, in this context, and allowing a moment to be recognized as part of the true mind. There is not a 'right' or 'wrong' way to respond. It seems, rather, that Dharma is more like a reflection of where we are in our practice and understanding, and what we need to do is learn to see without adding anything to that seeing. To know clearly the problem itself is to reveal how it can be approached and, when we are really acting 'from the Dharma', we are just immersed in the awareness without adding any additional accessories to it.
   A lot of what I am writing here is not very clear, but I am trying to expound it for the sake of helping myself understand. The situations one faces in daily life can naturally be understood with a calm mind, if we know that it's all originating in the same mind. So long as I am returning things to the totality of mind, I am not attaching to one view 'over' the other, and I don't engage in needless conflicts. However, the problem is that as soon as I note this and try to 'correct' my behavior and thinking, I create an 'I' and believe that there is this object "I" that needs correcting. And then we try to repent of 'having this I', only to realize, who is repenting of having a self? It's quite terrible, because now there is nowhere for the mind to go! But when I let go of that struggle to 'go' anywhere, I suddenly begin to realize that I am not obligated to create a perfect version of self and mind, and there needn't be any opposition to what is unfolding from the causes and conditions. In this way, practice is a continuous process of coming to realize that there is no process, and nowhere to really go.
   It's quite difficult to conceptualize, but let's take some time to reflect on the paradoxes for a while.