Grace

    Reading Gerald May's Addiction and Grace again, I am lead to rediscover why I love his writings. May explores in this book how addictions (and cravings in general) offer a kind of narrow margin of freedom to see past suffering through states of grace. Writes May, "We are dependent upon grace for liberation from our addictions, but those very addictions impair our receptivity to grace. The message may not sound like good news. Yet God creates and cares for us in such a way that our addictions can never completely vanquish our freedom." (p.18) While May writes from a Christian perspective and context, I am often thinking that the notion of grace can enter into many contemplative perspectives. It has a quality of versatility because of its relationship to the mind in times of turmoil and struggle.
     What is the relationship between craving (desire) and grace? This isn't an easy question to answer. I recall that Master Sheng Yen has written about the human realm being one of passions and ideals, and desire might be included as part of that. Without the struggle of desires, many people would not bother to embark on any spiritual practice--it is as though there are not enough thorns in their path that they would consider themselves doing so. But I think that the relationship between desire and grace might be deeper than that. Craving seems to be a distorted reflection of an ideal and mature sort of surrender, and often craving for small things is a tiny reflection of greater aspirations. To take a very mundane example, the craving for coffee in the morning is not just about a substance, but it is often about the kind of life one wishes to have given the energetic spike that coffee provides. I could give up the energy of coffee, but perhaps at the expense of the aspiration to do more in the mornings, as well as do things with enthusiasm and zeal. These kinds of cravings are distorted, in the sense that they don't reflect the ideal state of body and mind that could come with proper practice and exercise. Yet, for brief moments, they provide substitutes in the form of short cuts.
   Grace seems to be the free giving of a state of liberation which is the birthright of all beings. I can't describe it, but it's that fleeting experience of 'you're already home wherever you are', and there is simply no need for a gimmick or a mind trick to take one there. It is the acceptance, in love, of who one is, precisely in this moment, that seems to be a hallmark of grace, and that acceptance is what allows me to see cravings as the distorted wish for that acceptance. Grace takes a person out of the idea that they are conditioned to be loved by the presence of certain things around them, and into the realization of their always being loved and lovable by some higher being or universe.
  

May, Gerald ( 1988 ) Addiction and Grace. New York: Harper and Row