Unfinished Research

 The title of this entry is a bit misleading, but I am talking about the experience of sometimes following the trail of a potential research project and then realizing that either the moment is premature or there isn't that much I can research. I was thinking about studying Tien Tai Buddhism so that I could learn more about a workshop related to the Lotus Sutra recitation. Somehow, I must have picked up one of the hardest (most academic) books at Robarts Library. I have found myself dipping into Zhi Li's theories about the four alternate views and four kinds of teaching, only to find that I could only absorb about fifty per cent of it, and apply much less.
   I found myself thinking that reading this book has been a practice in abiding with the sense of confusion (being way over my head) as well as occasional feelings of boredom. This kind of reading isn't that interesting or engaging to me unless I have a meaningful method to work with that is embodying the practice. I found that even though the Buddhist theory fascinates me, I at times zone out when it comes to reading the historical nuances of this style of Buddhism, which tells me that either it's not my time to learn it, or it will take me longer to do so.
    Lately, I have been thinking that the things I have been reading are a bit lacking in context, or even too 'theoretical'. I have heard some Buddhist students suggest that a lot of North American mindfulness practices lack the context of historically grounded Buddhism, particularly the ethical and devotional aspects. However, the other side of this argument is that sometimes people might be very attracted to historical Buddhist ideas, only to find that the history is an integral part of a very different culture and time period. I am saying that there often needs to be a way to bridge these historical movements and practice in Canadian life today, and sometimes I don't quite see a way to bridge it unless there is a feasible spiritual practice associated with it.