During the group meditation tonight, I was experimenting with the idea that meditation is a kind of relationship. With what, you might wonder? Well, that is the challenge, because meditation is bringing one back to the original mind that exists prior to subject and object, and yet there is still a relationship that is unfolding. Perhaps one can describe this experience as the 'ultimate' relationship with life, in the sense that there are naturally bound to be surprises there. This is in direct contrast to the idea that meditation is one single ladder that ascends to one particular goal, which is often referred to as 'enlightenment' or some other term.
When we meditate, is it meant to be a kind of 'recipe' to attain some state of being that is fixed? Or is it discovering that nothing is fixed, and nothing needs to be fixed in one place or another? I tend to think the latter, if not simply because I don't think there is any meaning to this practice unless it somehow allows a practitioner to let go of these fixed concepts of what they believe their life should look like. More so, there are moments when one truly sees that there is this continual process of discovering, revealing and rediscovery that happens in meditating. In a sense, nothing is new about it, but then everything is revealed to be brand new, and we keep approaching that newness with fresh vitality. No longer working only with dead or broken concepts, one can approach experience in this way, even when there are parts to that experience which seem dreary or negative.
What makes this way of looking at meditation practice so refreshing to me is that there is no time line imposed upon it where I am made to feel that I have to be a certain way as a result of practice. Sometimes one has to let go of all pretentions before a genuine change can arise in mind and heart.
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