Weird Dreamy Thoughts

    The retreat went well today, only the funny thing is that I had feedback from other practitioners which reflects my own experiences in a couple of the sittings. That is, I was experiencing, at times, this kind of 'dreamy' experience of seeing thoughts emerge which don't make too much sense. This is perhaps a bit different from the regular kind of scattered thoughts. Unlike with the scattered thoughts one normally experiences, this situation involves seeing thoughts that have little or no connection with anything. And what's worse is that the arrive at a relatively quiescent state of mind.. and  in this relatively quiescent state, it can be quite hard to be able to summon up the energy to bring up the huatou.
  I don't quite know how to deal with these situations, and I was advised by one of the practitioners not to try to fight these situations at all. The more I try to resist, the more tired I will become, and the less I can really practice huatou. So the only thing I can do in those situations is to observe the conditions of my mind and relax into it, without necessarily trying to 'arouse' a motivation to practice.
    This kind of experience does lead me to wonder: to what extent are we truly in control of our motivations to practice? Many Chan and Zen texts I have read exhort practitioners to give rise to determination and diligence of mind, which perhaps suggests that the will to practice is always within a person's individual control. After today's experience on the retreat, I tend to challenge this view. I think that a lot of what we consider to be will power is often the result  of  many conditions working favorably together. I think a lot of this has to do with challenging my ideas about how much meditation is based on will power and how much is about observing things as they are.