Angst or Excitement

      The year 2017 is here, and I started to wonder: what will this year be like? In thinking this way, I believe that I am committing a common fallacy of jumping too far ahead. This is especially true considering that even with the beginning of each year, one is only required to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. I believe that this is an important consideration as the new year begins.
       In any given day, all one can ever really do is put their whole heart and mind into whatever is needed. Sometimes, one may not necessarily be needed or feel needed, but nonetheless, there is still a need to be present with that "not feeling needed" emotion. I am thinking of the example when I was in my early 20s, how I landed a temporary job at a retail chain store. I was hired to be a stock-boy, but I remember how my boss didn't think I was quick enough to do the job, and during the last week I was there, nobody seemed to have any work for me to do. In that moment, I needed to abide in the unpleasant feeling, but also to realize that there wasn't much that I could do to improve that situation by occupying myself with activities or work.
     Now, what do you think is harder to bear: too much work, or not enough? All I can remember about that situation was the feeling that not having enough work to do was such a source of anxiety. Whereas having a lot to do often entails the sense of accomplishment in doing a lot of things, having little to do can create a sense of uncertainty or even invite disengagement. But nonetheless, it is still important to abide in those feelings, in order to realize that one will not 'die' because of them. After all, not feeling needed is not a life/death situation, but is simply the result of causes and conditionsr riping in that moment.
   Whether one feels 'useful' or 'useless', these are only scenarios presented in the mind, often based on scant information. It is also based on a myth that somehow having a lot to do is somehow a greater guarantee of security or safety. In fact, having a lot to do sometimes creates the opposite problem of becoming addicted to busyness. Rather than simply resting with the fact that one cannot be occupied with something at all times, busyness invites the possibility of becoming too attached to occupying the mind, rather than opening a space to meaningfully reflect on one's situations in life.