On Fixing and Not Fixing Things

  Before the Wednesday group meditation practice tonight, I ran into the dilemma of not being able to find a cable that connects the laptop to the projector. In the end, I did not have the time to figure out what happened or what connections were required to make it work, so I ended up not showing any Dharma video at the end of the class. In the beginning, I felt bad about this, because somehow the evening practice doesn't seem complete without the video showing. But then soon enough, I started to narrate the sense of incompleteness into my closing sharing. I talked about how Master Sheng Yen taught us the four steps of solving a problem: face it, accept it, deal with it, and let it go.
   Rather than being a pacifist or fatalist philosophy, Chan attempts to embrace these kinds of situations head on. According to this view, when solving problems one must exert their best efforts to achieve the best results. The more I try different things and show a genuine concern for solving the problem, the more likely a solution will arise based on the developing conditions. However, the final step in the problem solving process is always to "let it go". If for whatever reason, I am unable to surmount the challenge posed by the difficulty and have done what I could do, then in that moment it is best to rest my mind and not get agitated that I could not solve it. After all, "I" am not the sole cause or factor in solving any problem. The process of engaging problems requires a whole set of interlocking conditions in place, such as know-how and the luck to have teachers who will be able to assist a person in dealing with the problem. In the absence of these things, there may not be an opportunity to solve the problem oneself.
    I have found especially today that there is a careful balance struck between 'right' effort and not getting too attached to an outcome. To preserve this distinction, I have needed to be very clear about where the issues are arising in mind. If it is a process of thinking through the possible solutions or reasons behind a problem, then my actions will be fairly smooth in executing a series of trials or steps to address the possible factors. But if my thinking is focused on regret ("I should have come earlier to solve this!") or shame ("I should be able to figure this out!") or even anger and blame ("why can't others make this easier for me?"), then I experience a deep, personal vexation over what is otherwise just a simple glitch. At that point, it is best to check oneself and ask: does it really reflect poorly on me that this situation didn't get resolved in spite of my best efforts? It's also important to look at it in perspective by considering the other alternatives, and not being overly attached to one outcome. Will this session really be a complete failure if I don't show a video? and so on.
   Of course, it sounds easy in writing, but it is very difficult to cultivate the right equanimity to acknowledge a problem and confront it, without insisting on one's own way or getting attached to the idea of solving a problem. I suppose that all this takes some kind of practice in encountering situations that are either hard or impossible to fix.