Seeing Things As They Are

    In Line 41 of "Perfection of Patience", Santideva remarks, "If inflicting harm on others is the nature of the foolish, then my anger toward them is as inappropriate as it would be toward fire, which has the nature of burning" (p.66) This passage interests me because it suggests that there is always an underlying wavelength from which a person operates. If I am not in tune with that wavelength, I end up imposing my own standards onto others, which can lead to inappropriate anger and even harm. It is sometimes a good practice for me to reflect: when someone is speaking, what register are they using, and what wavelength are they operating from? It seems that when a person can really understand that wavelength, then fire becomes fire, and water is water. In other words, I am not trying to make fire appear to be like water, or water to appear as earth simply because I want them to do so. It is rather that I truly understand the vibrations of a person or thing in that present moment. It's then that I can accept that person and maybe even "speak their language".
    I do think that Santideva here is likely referring to affinity. Even chemical substances have affinity, in the sense that they react to some things and not to others. By knowing affinity, it's easier to work with different things in harmony rather than trying to convert one thing to another. I suppose this is the difference between alchemy and chemistry. Whereas "alchemy" refers to the magical process of turning lead into gold, "chemistry" is about learning the way things are with something and seeing how it can be harmonized with other things. We all desire to change one thing into something more favorable or comfortable, but what would it be like not to have to change anything at all--to just let things be as they are and not expect them to be otherwise. This is a hard practice, but one thing that helps me is never to take what people say as commandments. While fire crackles and roars, it never has the power to make water into fire. Similarly, when someone is angry, I am not thereby commanded to be angry. Or if someone is self-righteous and wanting others to be a certain way, I don't need to be the way they want me to be. But I can try to listen to the underlying wavelength of the person to discern where the voice is coming from: what that person might be needing in that moment.