From Desire to Appreciation

   Reading Caroline Brazier's book Buddhist Psychology, I am reflecting on what a person can do when caught in desires, and how desire can transform into appreciation. There seem to be so many methods in Buddhist practice and in psychology that can help with this. But Brazier makes an interesting observation: namely, that desire comes from identifying something with the self. Using Buddhist theory, she arrives at four different ways of orienting on desired objects: identifying with it, seeing oneself in it, seeing oneself as different from the object, and seeing oneself as possessing it. (p.63). Upon first observing this list, I start to realize that there are deep contradictions between these orientations. For example, how can a person 'possess' that to which she or he is already identified? How can 'identity' and 'difference' co-exist in the same relationship with an object? Brazier's analysis, for me, points to the deep confusions that can arise when a person starts to work with their desires or try to become freed of them. It seems that in order to "identify" something as "me", I have to somehow confirm in my mind that it is 'mine'. But that can also involve embracing or sometimes even exaggerating difference. To 'embrace' difference as 'mine' can sometimes create a false sense of omnipotence, as when a person feels that she or he is able to embrace and even own what is opposite to her or his existing tendencies. So sometimes, when I think I have transcended myself through an object, I have only managed to intensify my attachment to self by making it seem 'larger.'
    To give an example of this tendency, I am thinking about someone who collects spiritually charged objects or ideas. I have heard that this tendency may be referred to as 'spiritual materialism'. With this tendency, the self tries to prove that it has 'transcended itself' by collecting an object that represents self-transcendence, such as a totem or a sacred figure or statue. But by owning such an object or 'embracing' it, have I really 'transcended' myself? One might argue or suggest that it depends on how we treat the object and feel about it. If I am using the object to further my practice and understanding, then it  is walking a path that can go beyond the self. But if I am seeing the object more as a kind of possession, then it starts to become more like an extension of the self. I often wonder, as I am writing this, to what extent the notion of 'cultural capital' taps into this desire to 'expand' and yet 'transcend' the self, and the contradiction that lies in this 'expansion'/'transcendence'. On the one hand, I want to go beyond the narrow views of who I am which cause me to suffer in this present moment, by latching onto something that is different or perhaps appearing more refined that I am. On the other hand, I might be relating to that object in much the same ways that I would relate to any novel or consumable object. I 'expand' myself only to contract within the boundaries of the expanded self. Then the object becomes appropriated to somehow represent this 'new and improved' self that is presumably purified. This is how things can become exoticized, yet still contract into the self.
    I raise this topic because it seems important to know the difference between expanding the sense of self and going beyond self.  While cultivating interests is good, when does cultivation become appropriation and possession?The practice of going beyond self can be quite arduous, and it is not a simple practice at all. I even think that it requires a critical awareness and reflection that can sometimes be furnished through philosophical discussion and analysis. Sometimes, my appreciation for something could be a way of simply expanding my sense of self to incorporate it into my habitual patterns of identifying with things. On the other hand, a sincere appreciation requires the willingness to lessen the sense of self or to invite a glimpse into emptiness of all 'selves'.

Brazier, Caroline (2003), Buddhist Psychology: Liberate Your Mind, Embrace Life. London: Constable & Robinson