A Love Not Tragic

   It has taken me quite a while to grasp what love or "like" is like that is not tragic in any way: not about win and loss, not about 'fighting for survival or possession'. To give an example from the Buddhist Study Group sharing tonight: one of the practitioners mentioned that what attracted her to Buddhism was never the final goal of being a more 'compassionate' or 'loving' person, but rather, it has come from a much more intuitive love for the teachings of Buddha. In other words, learning Buddhist teachings, for her, is not about acquiring some special knowledge or state of being. It is a little more like the mind gently allures itself through its own creations, in order to realize its true being. And this gentle allurement is not about 'win' or 'lose' or possessing something that is going to make us somehow wiser or better than other beings. I think this way of being is a fearless cultivation of simple love for a teaching and practice.
     Without the enjoyment or curiosity about a spiritual practice, it is quite difficult to cultivate. Practice has its ups and downs. For people who are trying to incorporate spiritual practice into the life of attractions and rejection, it is most difficult to maintain equanimity and to let go of attachments. Is it possible, I wonder, to cultivate a simple enjoyment and appreciation, rather than expecting too much in the way of attainment? I believe it's possible to do this practice with anything. An example I am thinking of now is reading. Though reading is one of my favorite past-times, there are times when my mood is "what is the point that this book is making?", and there is no patience in me for the details. At that point, what can I cultivate? I think I recognize that my feeling is agitated, and then I start to appraise the book as a friend who is vying for my attention. And I respect this friend and surround it with a kind of warmth. This process is about slowing down and being 'more beside' whatever is in front of me, rather than trying to get some main point out of it.
    Another helpful metaphor for 'being with' something is to think of teachings as 'seeds' to cultivate mind rather than as 'grand points' or revelations. This too was another metaphor that was mentioned in the group study to describe how to approach Buddhist teachings. Too often, if I am focused on learning in order to gain an epiphany or a 'breakthrough' from it, I will overlook the more subtle nuances in a text which can make it unique and give it a different flavor from what I have read in the past. I miss the way that text lives in me, its energy and its way of being, in my rush to find some preconceived 'gem' that is a reflection of a desire. Here, I am not suggesting that we need to 'get rid of desires'. A more apt metaphor might be to make room for that which isn't one's desire: to recognize that there are other gifts that the world has to offer besides one's wants or dreams.
       Reading is one thing, but the process of reading might relate to how a person copes with their dreams for others. Rather than seeing other as 'other', is it possible to see the encounter as appreciation and gentle invitation to explore? Here again, there are ways to shift away from the understanding that beings are separate and need to compete for resources to survive. Instead of thinking in this way, is it possible to see that all encounters are just situations that the mind creates to awaken? If this is the case, is there anything 'outside' mind that is graspable?