"faking" attention

   In her book, A Buddhist in the Classroom (2008), Sid Brown relates how she tried to bring the quality of mindful attention to all her students, often not without a struggle. At one point, she tries to address the struggles that teachers might go through in trying to be fully attentive to students, even when the teachers feel tired, burned out or afflicted. She remarks:

 Attend as much as you can. Pay close attention in class, to your work, to grading, to each student who comes to your office or passes you in the hall. And if you feel disconnected, if you feel alienated, if you are tired and just want to curl up by a fire with a book and forget this whole thing...try to pay attention anyway....But if you can't, pretend. Pretend you're attending. Pretend this is the most important moment in your life and in that of your students. Pretend that this thing called a classroom is a crucible. Pretend that we all breathe to be together doing this. Until it's true (p.29-30)

Much of Brown's remarks on attention remind me of the statement "fake it till you make it." But as I was reading this section, a question arose: what is the difference between 'attending' and 'pretending'? When it comes to paying attention, this distinction blurs a bit for me.
           If someone is really expecting to always feel emotionally connected to everyone at all times, they will feel that they are 'only pretending' when they need to make an effort to do so. But sometimes, as Brown suggests, expecting to be enthusiastic and fully connected may be too much to ask, especially in one's off-days or lower spirits. Pretending may not be so much deceiving oneself as behaving  "as if" something were important when it is important. But, in Brown's case of 'pretending', I am not deceiving myself into thinking I am truly interested. Rather, I fully know that I am just pretending 'for now', so that something might mean more to me at a later time.
      This example helps me understand that the mind does not need to attach to feelings as guides to actions. In fact, simply paying attention is something that can be done anywhere, without any particular motivation behind it. It is illusory to think that attention requires or depends on a preceding motivation or 'feeling'. Actually, Brown suggests that the quality of awareness and attention are always present, even if the feelings are not there. Yet, somehow, I think people feel you have to have  a strong emotion in order to really pay attention to something.
      Brown's example also reminds me: there are many situations where I need to assume meaning before I can feel that something is meaningful. Western cultures in recent years place a lot of value on 'being real', or authentic, and not hiding true feelings behind masks or personas. This is all fine and ideal, but it tends to conceal the fact that there are situations where I must act a certain way even though I don't feel that way at all. But as Brown suggests, if I attend to something as a practice, I am bound to eventually develop a feeling for that thing or situation. Attention can do that, because it doesn't rely on conditions to function. Quite the opposite, attention is what fosters emotions. When I meet people for the first time, I often don't feel for them too much, but if I attend to their needs for a while, I will then start to feel connected in some way.

Brown, Sid (2008), A Buddha in the Classroom. New York: State University of New York Press