Dealing with Tension

Tension can be a physical sensation but most often, I think it's associated with conflict. The most pervasive conflict that characterizes tension is between wanting something to be a certain way and accepting what it is. I have noticed that when my forehead is tense, the way to "untense it" is to paradoxically enjoy the tension itself. We so often associate tension with a kind of trap or prison, and it needn't necessarily look that way.

There is the bodily aspect of tension but there is also the mental tension as well: wanting something to be what it isn't, and failing to accept what it is now. This comes from believing that thoughts are more enduring than they are, as well as an attitude of judging oneself and the moment. Rather than trying to judge the moment, we should treat each moment like a special flavor of chocolate or something else that we enjoy, and fully savor it. It is not enduring or substantial, but can we look closely and see its empty aspect, and how are mind is constantly changing in relation to it? This is where even the simplest moment or most mundane can turn into a rather fascinating meditation on the mind. But in order to do this, we need the depth to find wonder and paradox even in the midst of the mundane. This is certainly where practice sets in.

Global Ratings of Self

  When we rate ourselves in terms of our achievements, we are identifying something that is solid, without realizing that each moment is changing. Such an idea is so pervasive that it tends to tire us out! Deep down, we are comparing who we feel we are in this moment to a kind of false social ideal that is static and forever unchanging. I believe this kind of self-rating happens not only in the world of career but also in social situations, where we try to live up to our very own personal expectations of what a "worthy" person is supposed to be and be like. Life becomes a kind of strenuous tension between what we feel in the moment and the moral code of the ideal person we strive to be. I believe that the book Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse dramatizes this interesting tension.

    What if, instead of viewing these as opposites, we could see that both the immediate feeling and the social ideal are one of many possibilities that simply do not remain from moment to moment. By relaxing the requirements that one possibility prevail over the others, we allow the wolf and the human to co-exist--to both have an equal claim and legitimacy in the ecosystem of the psyche. This requires that we give up this desire to globally rate ourselves in terms of being "all good" or "all bad", when in fact all these possibilities are only seeds.  This radical honesty forces us to accept that we are not all "one person" and can be a mixture of many different tendencies, even unwholesome ones. But true "wholesomeness" is simply to know that they are all empty of a self-existence that endures over time. 

   I neither indulge the wolf nor indulge the angelic, but I see they are both equally valid potentials that can co-exist within if we allow them to do so and give them all the necessary room and space to flourish in "rooms of their own". This avoids all the binary confrontations that we needlessly impose or construct for ourselves.

Attitude

   Most businesses stress the importance of knowledge, but I tend to believe that attitude is more important than knowledge, skill or abilities..  Having a good attitude means that there is no need to value ourselves by what we do, or base our sense of worth on our actions. If we were to only base our worth on what we do, we would fluctuate: sometimes thinking we are "good" when we do something "amazing", while other times feeling bad when we perform "poorly". I put these words in quotation marks, because I truly believe that the sense of achievement is relative to a great many factors, much of which is beyond our control. Something may seem middling as an achievement yet, due to the effort involved, may have turned out to be a tremendous stretch in terms of one's abilities.

   One of the most important attitudes that we can bring to a business or any endeavor, for that matter, is an attitude of "just showing up". What I mean by this is that we should always value our own sense of presence, rather than belittling presence as unimportant. The act of being in the moment, or just accompanying a situation, is a way of bringing our real self into the picture--and that is already good in itself, whether we acknowledge it or not. We have so many experiences, memories and even tidbits of insight to bring into every situation, so we need not "study for the part" of being in the moment and giving something of ourselves into the conversation.

   Failure is also relative...and although failure never feels good, I see failure as an investment in the future, since mistakes now will create memories that will lead us to better performance in the future. I believe these principles are important to any endeavor, be it work related or other.

Compassion-Based Learning

  Most of the theories of learning I have encountered, whether implicit or explicitly stated, focus on the idea of mastering a subject. Of course, this is the ultimate goal of education of any kind, which is to become a subject matter expert in an area. But I think that education gets derailed when there is an idea of a precise goal. In other words, it can be easy to try to imagine what "mastering a subject" looks and feels like before we even dive into its depths. It seems that to really learn requires an immersion that is not driven by the pressure to master a subject all at once. Instead, one finds the simple passion and enjoyment of something to be the main driver of learning.

    Alfie Kohn is one educator who has focused on the question: what happens when children are more focused on external rewards than on the intrinsic motivation to perform a task? One obvious answer is that children become distracted by the reward itself and are therefore unable to appreciate or focus on the task. A more subtle thing that occurs is that the learner simply sees it as an accomplishment rather than as something to simply enjoy in a brief sort of way. And also, there comes a tendency to compete and compare oneself  with others.

  Compassion-based learning is not so much focused on the final goal--wanting to "do well" in something--but more the intrinsic understanding of the relationships that happen between things, even if they happen to be very theoretical ones. If one is able to find connections or start to see a more clear picture of something, an "aha" kicks in, and we feel more part of the learning itself. We no longer focus on our own merit, but start to enjoy the process itself. In this way, the "compassion" is not about having any special feeling such as joy or kindness to the subject we are studying, but more of a sense of play, discovery and some kind of openness to wonder.

More on Amitofuo

  In the Buddhist class today, we discussed the Pure Land and its various forms and aspects. I believe the central meaning of Pure Land is : the real Pure Land is beyond words, beyond thought--and even beyond location. Calling something a Pure Land is an expedient means that serves to help sentient beings to realize that Pure Land is the state of our minds when it is truly tranquil and when it has let go of all vexations.

   I am convinced that really understanding the Pure Land and Amitofuo requires a lifetime relationship with Buddhism. It cannot happen simply through recitation, no matter how sincere one is. This is because the chanting of Amitofuo points to something that is empty; it simply cannot be grasped. And so, in essence, we must keep reciting the name with sincerity on each word until we are taken to a place where there is simply nothing to grasp. It requires a kind of formlessness that is not capable of being grasped or understood in the traditional sense. To even associate it with some form is to confine awareness to a created or contrived principle. While these contrivances are necessary, we somehow need to keep going deeper into the recitation until we ask, "who is reciting the Buddha's name"? Who is the real "subject" (those who recite) and the chanted? Are they different, or one, or neither different nor one?  As confusing as this may seem to some, I am convinced that this is the way to understand Buddhism and its core essence.

Amitofuo as Raft of Life

Recently I reflect on Amitofuo as the kind of raft that is able to see past the sea of suffering that is out there. Pain, frustration, regret, anger. Reciting with a single focus and purpose can help a person to focus their minds and thus rise above these waves of pains, frustrations, regrets, anger. 

Fashi was saying in the class the other day that this method of reciting Amitofuo's name is easy to practice yet, hard to believe. I think this is because we are somehow accustomed to having to work hard to find the answers, and being deluded. In fact, we just have to remember that there is a being of light who is so compassionate as to be able to invite all the sentient beings of this world to the Pure Land, given sufficient faith. This is truly hard to believe, but I will try to make it a practice to at least listen to some chanting of Namo Amitofuo every night before bed. I will write some observations on how this is going for me.

Doing Good Work

   I have noticed how hard it can be to "objectively" evaluate whether a job I have performed has an impact on others. It's one thing to do as we are being told in the office, but how do we know that the tasks we have performed have made an impact? I was thinking about this after watching a video by Master Sheng Yen during our Sunday morning meditation, in which he spoke about how too much greed for status and  position in the workplace can cause us to take on positions that we don't deserve or weren't properly earned,  particularly when someone more talented and able than ourselves could have occupied this position that we have taken. I wondered: if this is the case, can we ever truly "measure" effort? It's tough to say at times, and I often feel that people simply have different talents. Also, sometimes the person who lands the job isn't necessarily the most "qualified", but may certainly be the most liked within a circle of co-workers. So, how can we assure that truly good work is being recognized?

   Perhaps the most important part of working life is that it is a kind of training, similar to that of the Six Paramitas in Mahayana Buddhism. If we think of work in terms of the Six Paramitas, we may be able to see work itself as a form of mind discipline. The Six Paramitas could be translated in the workplace as follows:

1) Generosity: the passion to go "above and beyond" when performing one's task. Seeing the big picture and assessing whether and to what extent the work one is doing benefits others and is "smart work"--meaning, does it save the company's money and time, or does it merely expend energy and personnel on something of little impact and significance?

2) Precepts: Doing one's work honestly and ethically. Not cheating the company by behaving carelessly and in a distracted manner, but putting all of one's attention to the goodness of a piece of work. Acknowledging the moral impact of good craftsmanship as a way of strengthening social bonds through mutual trust in the quality of what one delivers. Not harming others through shoddy or oppressive work dynamics. Harmonizing with co-workers

3) Patience: Accepting the possibility of failure. Forbearance in the face of unrewarding or tedious tasks that end up being for the benefit of the final result. Tolerating periods of uncertainty when the final value of a work is not fully known or might bear fruit at a more distant time. Knowing that good ideas don't develop overnight but take time and cooperation from many stakeholders.

4) Diligence.  Simply, working hard! Putting one's effort into the work itself.

5) Meditation: Single-minded and calm devotion to being present. Having a non-dualistic and present-moment orientation to the process of doing work

6) Wisdom: Recognizing that work is not a formula but a guideline for creating good and valuable things. Ability to work with ambiguity and remain focused on the bigger picture. Not attaching to views and allowing for multiple perspectives in the workplace.

This six paramitas model for doing good work could perhaps be made into a book!!