The Hanging Thread

During the meditation practice tonight, I was able to see my practice method as a kind of life-saver. How did I see it that way? I think when I am convinced that all other thoughts lead to some kind of suffering, the method of meditation itself becomes a kind of lifeboat. It's through a dedication and love for the method itself that many of one's vexations can be renounced.
   It' s hard to come to this point, because a lot of times, I project onto the method itself things that are not inherent to it. Some people say "meditation is too hard" or "it's too strict", or even "impossible", but in fact these are only projections of a person's chance thoughts on the experience itself. They have nothing to do with the actual method. When I finally realize that my thoughts are the source of suffering, I am ready to throw myself wholeheartedly into the meditation practice method, because I am seeing it as it is, not in terms of these imagined projections.
    This devotion is not a kind of romanticized religion for me. More so, it is kind of an ultimate responsibility for oneself to make the practice come to life. Nobody but oneself can truly choose to be engaged in that moment. This is also something I have learned recently, and that is only myself am responsible for his own emotional life and engagements. The "coming back to one's method" is one way that this responsibility comes to life for me.