All About Context

 I am beginning to realize lately that empathy requires context. It's not a special skill or a special way of relating to things or people, but rather an ability to see things related to other things. This might seem like common sense, but actually, a lot of psychological approaches to conflict and emotional problems seem to start (and end) with dispositions and tendencies. In the rush to try to map one's genome and brain, there's a tendency in science to think that we can reduce personality to biological or emotional functions of the brain. But in fact it seems that even organisms co-exist with other organisms in an ecosystem. It's impossible, I think, to empathize without understanding a bigger situation in which individuals operate.
   This reminds me of how I read this article in an ESL book with my student, about how we tend to gravitate toward animals with "cute faces", such as pandas and koalas. What is ignored is that even the less appealing creatures who live close to these animals are supporting the overall environment, as well. I might gravitate to beautiful or cute things because of some impulse in me to protect babies or to be attracted to certain kinds of beauty that preserve the species. However, this tends to overlook the way that all creatures depend on each other, regardless of their appearance or abilities. In nature, this is sometimes known as biodiversity, where each creature has a certain niche which allows it to contribute to the running of the system and prevent over-population of one species. If I only focus on the things that are most appealing to my senses, I will overlook the workings of the whole society or ecosystem, which in turn can create all kinds of troubles. This also happens when I become attached to some things while ignoring others. I have recently read about people with Internet addictions who are so attached to certain sites that they even neglect to eat and ignore their health. This is an example where people lose their own context in their attachment to specific things.
   "Context", here, refers to a way of looking at life which sees beings as situated in local areas of life, with unique problems and situations that are embedded in the situations themselves. It's impossible to generalize here, because each context will be slightly different, depending on the factors or forces that occur around a person that generate their problems. To provide context in our dealings with each other, we often have to use examples that illustrate the scope of our commitments.
    To use an example from my workplace, I have recently had to communicate with my managers about my willingness to work extra hours on weekends and evenings, but with the condition that certain times will be reserved for other commitments that I have. In fleshing out the conditions, I communicate to my manager that I am willing very much to help the organization, but that I (like everyone else) have specific constraints which I need to factor in order to be most effective. In communicating limits, I show my care: I don't just say "hey, to heck with you, I am going to have fun on my weekends". But at the same time, I am willing to acknowledge that I need certain things to maintain long term physical and mental health, which requires that I am not always available to work. In sharing context, I am more able to create an empathic bond with another person, because that person sees me in my complexity but also in my willingness to take responsibility. The more I can locate myself or locate the other in the concrete situations, concerns and relations in which they are embedded, the more chance there is of empathic connection.