The Wandering Life

What is the right balance between over-restraining oneself and allowing oneself to be true to one's nature? I believe that in reading Wen Haiming's book Chinese Philosophy, this is a key theme and issue for many early Chinese philosophers. I am reading about Zhuangzhi who, according to the author, "Zhuangzi employs every resource of rhetoric in his writings and persuades people to free themselves from societal bondage, which is exactly the opposite of Confucian teachings." (p.48) I wondered to myself, does the Chan teaching side closer to restraint or to the 'wandering' suggested by Zhuangzi?
  I think the 'wandering' that Zhuangzi suggests is not the same as having wandering thoughts in meditation practice. For example, in meditation, we don't encourage people to just sit and entertain their thoughts in any direction that it goes, since this would not be that different from an ordinary wandering mind that is never really present. I think it means the opposite: Zhuangzi's philosophy as Haiming describes it as: "The way to wander free and easy is to transform oneself to have no form, and to exist as if there is no self" (p.51). The example brought up in this text is that of the butcher who keeps his knife sharp and brand new because he is able to find a way to cut along the already existing spaces within the meat.  It is as though the knife were so harmonious with the edges of the animals' body that there is no trace of resistance or 'cutting into' something that already has spaciousness.  The way is not to impose a hard and fast rule onto everything, but rather to find a space to work with things' true natures so that people are not interfering with them but are according with them in their real way.
   A similar kind of discussion arises in the Surangama Sutra, in the chapter called "On Making False Claims". This chapter exhorts people not to proclaim that they are bodhisattvas, since the only motivation to do so would be to distinguish oneself for personal gain. The idea is similar to the idea of the butcher: when a knife cuts into meat, it's not by virtue of the knife that a clean cut can be made, but the actual combination of butcher's movements, knife blade and nature of the meat itself : its 'emptiness' or spaciousness. If a material were totally opaque and solid, there would be no way for another substance to permeate or cut through that object.
           Rather than imposing a universal doctrine onto everyone, it is written in the Surangama Sutra that "Bodhisattvas and the Arhats will appear before beings in whatever bodily form may be appropriate for rescuing them from the cycle of death and rebirth."(p.275) I think what the sutra is saying here is that bodhisattvas are not limited to any specific form. If I try to be something in order to be something for everyone, this is not going to go very well for all situations, and it will only end up creating resistance. I found this especially happens in churches where people are sometimes taught to see themselves as "saved" and in a position to try to convert the "unsaved'. In fact, posing myself as 'anything' on 'any given path' seems inherently problematic, because life never quite works that way. Zhuangzi's example of the butcher suggests that a good butcher is a master of empty space, and must therefore empty her or himself at any moment to successfully work with the materials of life.
      I used to think that the wandering life is ideal because people should be continually learning to keep their minds fresh. To stay in one station at all times is to risk stagnation, and there have been times when I have idealized the life of constant change and renewal. These days, however, I feel that there needs to be stability of mind to 'wander well'. If I am not grounded in a sense of community of some kind, it is easy for me to follow any thoughts I please and then believe this is 'following my nature'. But Zhuangzi and Chan teachings are more subtle than that, because they use natural imagery to suggest that we need to work very closely and intimately with forms to be able to understand and experience their emptiness. In this way, we neither attach to forms nor the notion of 'wandering' in emptiness.

Haiming, Wen (2010  ) Chinese Philosophy. Cambridge; Cambridge University Press.
Surangama Sutra: A New Translation. (2009)  Buddhist Text Translation Society