North of Sheppard Avenue and south from where I live is a strip of teahouses and dessert places, all a culinary delight. If ever I wanted my sugar fix, I only need attend one of these places and try out different flavors such as grapefruit ice, mango smoothies, or other flavors. And note also the atmosphere: many of these stores offer great opportunities for face to face and intimate conversations. I saw into one of the Korean stores an noticed the intimacy of the booths and individual tables, as well as the earthy colors. The whole scene somehow brings me back to my youth growing up in Mississauga, which felt starkly different. In most suburbs like Mississauga, it's hard to find the feeling of earthiness, unless one decides to create it in the intimacy of their own home. I reflect on how many of the teahouses north of Sheppard strive to create a 'public intimacy', where even total strangers feel calmed and even soothed by the pastel colors of the interiors.
I also consider: how did I 'socialize' as a young man growing up? The answer is that I simply did not, or not sufficiently so. Somehow, the sense of place and atmosphere had a lot to do with my failure to socialize while growing up. I am not trying to blame the environment or circumstances around me, but I suggest that creating a warm and welcoming dynamic through public space is often a key to bridging the divisions that people can feel in situations. When a business is more devoted to making the most profit, it becomes determined to 'move people along' rather than keeping them long enough in a single space to feel at home and acquainted with others, even if not on a speaking term. This is why our former mayor of Mississauga once banned Taco Bell because of a fear that it would end up becoming a 'hangout' place for students. And notice what this term 'hangout' has come to mean these days. It connotes the attitude of being in a place for too long, malingering, 'hanging around' where there is no specific purpose or aim in doing so. It's no wonder that 'hang out' can seem synonymous with 'looking for trouble', since it connotes a kind of alienated state of being rather than an intimate one. When I say I am 'hanging out' with someone, there is almost an implied distance or casualness which borders on the aimless.
I think that when a business or public space starts to experiment by emphasizing creating a warm and intimate atmosphere, it thrives on the love of customers. It is not about just hooking a customer on a product or spectacular show but of bringing out a sense of being at home. I begin to wonder, in fact, whether the businesses of the future will start to save resources by focusing more on quality of atmosphere and lifestyle rather than a quick fix or addiction, such as that found in the older arcades of the 80s. But on the other side of it, I think that a spiritual change would have to take place before these kinds of business or public spaces can become places of interconnection and whole being. On the customer side of it, people need to feel that they are not enriched by what they own but by the space of open and unconditional inter-being. When this happens, we may start to see a shift away from a product-centered 'consumer' economy and a more participatory economy of shared space and belonging, the quiet intimacy of a teahouse.
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