Inner Abundance

 During meditation tonight, I had a sense of a calm space around the various thoughts flooding my mind.. I could see how harmful it can be for unresolved tension and worry to stay with me. It is like the motor through which a constant buzz of thoughts come up non-stop, bombarding consciousness. It took quite some time and determination before the mind could settle somewhat, and there wasn't this sticky attachment to the thoughts and their outcomes.
    With all the possible thoughts that come up to mind, why does my consciousness only seem to register a handful of them?  It's likely because there is too much attachment to one or two thoughts. It is almost like a looping bird sound in a meadow. I enjoy or become fixated on the sound of the bird so much that I lose sight of the details; the other thoughts and experiences I am capable of having.  It is s a pity, and it makes me realize how important it is to try to maintain calm awareness all the time, so that I don't miss out on the limitless possibilities of the mind. There are so many possible thoughts, but attaching to the ones that appeal to me the most only constricts my consciousness and personality, to the point of losing attention to the totality of the moment.
     To use an example: as soon as someone switches on her or his internet, a flood of images and news stories flashes on the screen. Some of the news is significant, while other pieces of news are trivia. Even before I can decide which is important for me to know and what isn't, I find myself hooked on the buzz-lines, even curious to know what is happening there. This kind of attachment to particular stories restricts my view, and doesn't allow me to see the many ideas that are possible. I might even venture to say that this attachment immobilizes me in some way, and prevents wholehearted engagement. I have to let go of the desire to know these things to be fully present with what I need to do on the computer. That means foregoing the temptation to keep checking the internet for interesting stories.
   Perhaps more importantly, the true 'inner abundance' is not about having a large number of different thoughts. It is about appreciating a mind that can have endless possibilities. Witnessing the many thoughts as they emerge feels richer somehow.. It is as though the mind has a much wider pasture than I had imagined when I confined myself to attachments. I think the ironic part of this is that the less I crave, the more I recognize what I already have. Reducing craving for certain thoughts frees me to have endless thoughts, yet not be attached to any of them. This creates a sense of greater inner abundance.