It is
very easy to see that conditioning undergirds most of what happens in life. If
I really dig down to the core, most of what I do from day to day is based on
conditioning, particularly through desires and fears. I don’t think that there
is much possibility of eliminating those desires and fears right away. I am
thinking now about what it says in the Surangama Sutra: “All that is needed is
for you not to follow after the distinctions you make concerning the
perpetuations—the world, beings, and retribution in accord with karma.”
(p.161). This quote makes me think a lot on what ‘not following’ distinctions
really means. If distinctions are being made every day between likes and
dislikes, this and that, etc. then how does this ‘letting go’ of distinctions
really work?
I think what helps for me is to
realize that the distinction- making mind is the same as the unconditioned
mind. In fact, this is really the only way it could be. Otherwise, I would have to say that the unconditioned
mind has a condition to exist! If I go back to the story of Yajnadata: this
story is in the Surangama Sutra, and it tells about this one man who thinks he
has lost his own head, when he sees its reflection in the mirror. Chasing after
his image, he doesn’t realize that the head has been with him all along. In the
similar way, I am trying to look for the mind in a dream, as though I could
locate it somewhere in these elements. I keep making distinctions between true
and false, pure and impure, not realizing that mind is beyond conditioning and
simply does not bind itself to any conditions. In order for the mind to even
make dualities of self/other, black/white, good/bad, mind would have to be
already unbounded by these mental categories.
In terms of daily practice, I find
it is perhaps helpful for me to reflect that if, at any moment, I am having
vexation and suffer from the vexation, I haven’t yet found what is
unconditional in the vexation. That
unconditional element is the way to see
mind in the vexation. I have to keep going into the experience to see what is
unconditional and unmoving about it. Once I find that unmoving stillness in the
experience (which isn’t even bound by ‘stillness’) will I still have vexation?
I can have whatever I want. The only difference is that I acknowledge that
vexations don’t define the mind’s true nature. Whether I have a good dream or a
bad dream does not determine the mind’s being. This is truly good news, because
it means that we can stop trying to do an impossible thing, like replace one
thought with another, or try to look for mind inside a thought.
Another way to practice might be to simply see the power of conditioned responses in how I live. What I feel (fear, insecurity, envy, desire etc.) can usually be traced or seen as a condition, as in part of a larger system of being that involves perceived rewards and punishments. The conditioning is the commandment that tells me I need to do X to get Y or avoid Z. Does this conditioning need to be abolished or thrown away? I believe that acknowledging what is conditioned as conditioned is one way to gain enough distance from the conditioning itself, to know that this conditioning doesn’t define me in any way. Going through that process could help me understand and get to what is essential and changeless. It is like…if a wave crashes onto the beach, does this affect the composition of the wave? Waves, no matter how big or small, are made from the same substance. But the key is t see how this applies to mind. It is not about getting rid of conditioning. It is about seeing conditioning for what it is, not seeing it as an essential ‘me’ and then letting go of the grip I have on these conditional ways of being.
The Surangama Sutra: With Excerpts from the Commentary by the Venerable
Master Hssuan Hua. A New Translation
(2009) Buddhist Text Translation Society.
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