On Self-Acceptance in Spiritual Life

               I see meditation as a journey that can be unpredictable at times. I come into this world with my own tendencies and weaknesses, not to mention my own unique challenges. I think that everyone shares a similar way they need to work on some things and may be at different stages in life. While I can be diligent in meditation, there is no guarantee that this diligence will get me into the same place as someone else. I think this is okay, because the Chan approach is about letting go of desiring special experiences for oneself. And unless comparison motivates one to be one’s best self (it rarely does), I suppose it’s also important to let go of comparisons as much as possible.

              

                 From my understanding, the meditative life is not just about sitting on a cushion. It’s also about examining the mind’s tendencies to react and constrict around images of self and others. I have often found it helpful to look to self-help books as ways of supplementing meditative observations about the tendencies of framing self.  One of my favorite psychology books is David Burns’ Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. This book investigates some of the major tendencies that depressed people will have in terms of their thinking. Burns describes the destructive tendencies to engage in “all or nothing” thinking, “over-generalization”, “mental filter” etc. (see p. 32-40 for more information). Burns sites the work of Aaron T. Beck in suggesting that depressed people tend to be too concrete and ‘literal’ in their thinking, and have difficulties interpreting metaphorical statements. I think this makes sense, because depressed people tend to jump to concrete images and outcomes instead of being able to observe the shifting states around them. Instead of thinking a mistake was made, the depressed person might impute that mistake to a deficient self (“I am worthless”) or tend to label themselves as lacking in some way. An action very quickly becomes a ‘noun’. Let’s face it: we problematize anything by turning it into a noun. Sooner or later, leaving the toothpaste cap off the toothpaste will become “Object Displacement Deficiency” in the standard DSM handbooks, ten years from now. Making an action into a ‘thing’ makes it seem more manageable to conceive. But is it more manageable?

              Burns proposes his method of cognitive therapy as a counter-agent to negative thinking. By labeling thoughts in terms of key categories of mental distortion, the depressed person learns to observe the tendencies of consciousness to distort phenomena. The second stage in this is learning to dispute these thoughts by creating more balanced thoughts. It seems possible to do this because we learn to see the negative thoughts through the lenses of these identified ‘distortion types’. Cognitive therapy allows me to see the process of thought distortion, which then frees me of the damaging content of the thoughts themselves. Somewhat like meditation, cognitive therapy works by revealing processes, rather than dwelling on the ‘stories’ that are generated by these processes.

             Meditative practice can supplement cognitive therapy, by giving the depressed person space to realize her own mind.  But I also think there is a place for cognitive therapy in the learning of Chan. Because Buddhism is new to Western cultures, there is a danger that the teachings can become distorted through various lenses. I want to identify these lenses in terms of corresponding ‘mental distortions’ identified in David Burns’ methodologies:

Mental Distortion Identified by Burns	Corresponding Spiritual Tendency
“All or nothing”	Thinking that enlightenment is an instant process that only some people have access to.
“Overgeneralization”	Trying to sell one method of spiritual practice over all others. Assuming that the spiritual practice works the same for everyone. “If it works for her, it has to work for me, or I am a spiritual dud.”
“Mental Filter”	Assuming that one spiritual experience (or spiritual failure) dictates the rest of my experiences with meditation. Not having a beginner’s mind. Using past experiences to see the present moment. Failing to see the potential of my own Buddha nature (or Christ Nature, or Tao Nature, etc.)
“Disqualifying the Positive”	Not respecting one’s own process of coming to spirituality (this is similar to rejecting the authentic being in favor of a faraway but barely attainable spirit ideal) Disqualifying one’s natural feelings and reactions Trying to get rid of specific thoughts or states of being in meditation, when in fact these are parts of the mind and natural functions of causes and conditions Having no faith in one’s own still mind
“Jumping to Conclusions”	Trying to see the future through the past/present Seeing “myself” as a finished process, rather than as a potentiality in the making, or a being that is evolving
“Magnification”	Thinking that one moment in time means everything, when it is only one impermanent conditioned moment Thinking that one mistake or one accident “makes” who one is
“Emotional Reasoning”	Confusing a spiritual experience with a deeply emotional one. Getting attached to emotions
“Should Statements”	Thinking or assuming that meditative practices should go in a certain way, when in fact there is no should
“Labelling/Mislabelling”	I label myself as good or as having a ‘good’ meditative practice, rather than seeing that there is no absolute good and bad
“Personalizing”	Attributing experiences to a concrete self; judging the self, based on these experiences

             Part of the process of spiritual life is seeing that it is not different from ‘everyday’ life. I think the added aspect of life that makes it spiritual is that it challenges the notion of fixed identities (self/other) and static realities. Burns’ therapy also does the same thing, by challenging the notion that there is a fixed self that is always doomed to failure.

              

             I think that the process of living a mindful or spiritual life involves avoiding the traps of self and its accompanying mental distortions. Nearly all the distortions come from the false belief in a concrete self that is unchanging. It also comes from a failure to see that we aren’t all ‘bad’ even if we are not able to achieve the heightened spiritual experiences we hope to have when we embark on a meditative practice. For this reason, I have a feeling that Burns’ cognitive therapy is a good supplement to prevent self-attachment that could arise when embarking on a spiritual practice.

References

Burns, David D (1980), Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. New York, NY: Harper Collins